


The way you are

by herilaveur



Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:08:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,461
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22986877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/herilaveur/pseuds/herilaveur
Summary: Continuation of episode 16X15Levi has held Nico back and he thinks back on all the times Nico has proved his love to him...in the end actions speak as well as words, don't they?
Relationships: Nico Kim & Levi Schmitt, Nico Kim/Levi Schmitt
Comments: 15
Kudos: 101





	The way you are

**Author's Note:**

> This relationship reminds me a lot of my own. My husband seems rather cold and sure of himself while I'm a draft always smiling.  
> My husband never wanted to talk about his feelings while I talk...all the time!  
> And yet we've been together for 16 years and we're very happy. So I can only agree with Nico: let's not try to change who we love.  
> Anyway, I don't think Levi should comply, but I think they both have to compromise.

Levi can't stop thinking about what Nico just said. He was almost relieved that Nico's pager rang before they had a chance to undress and drag Nico away from that guard room on the fourth floor.  
He hadn't hesitated to hold Nico back for a second. But was he really sure now? He loves Nico, that's for sure. But does Nico really love him? It's so hard to build a relationship with someone who won't talk about his feelings.

Levi falls back on the bed, letting a great sigh fill the silence. Now that his patient's found, he's just stuck in a storm. He's spent half the day running around the hospital and he feels exhausted. Yet he can't stop his thoughts from building up in his head. He can't stop thinking about Nico. There are so many things he wants to ask him. Link's advice comes back to him so clearly that he feels like he's hearing it again _"Let him handle it. If you push him, he'll push you away"_.

Levi closes his eyes and can almost hear the _"I miss you"_ Nico slipped him after Josh died, after Levi gave him the time he needed. He sees Nico struggling with his feelings and admits that he doesn't know how to deal with everything he's feeling. It's the only time Nico had trouble finding his words. He seemed to be in an inner battle with himself. 

That inner struggle, however,Levi saw it on Nico's face some other time. When he introduced Nico to his mother. They've never spoken of it since, but that day, Levi did see that Nico's face had tensed up. He saw him squeeze his lips tight enough to turn white, like he wanted to stop himself from saying something. _"You're amazing"._ The words came out, accompanied by a tear, as if it was something too hard to say. Levi knew Nico wanted to say more, but he thought it was too soon after Josh died. He thought Nico wasn't feeling well enough to give himself the right to be happy. But when he thinks back now, maybe he just couldn't say anymore.. 

It takes Levi's mind back to the first time Levi said _"I love you"_. Nico was working in and he stopped in one motion. Now that Levi thinks back, he remembers how nervous Nico was when he walked up to him and said, _"You said you love me, right?"_ Like he could've misheard. Like he wanted to be really sure of what he'd heard. Levi shouldn't have pushed him that day, asking him if he was gonna tell him he loved him. He had laughed when Nico had stalled him, saying he liked to see Levi nervous. But in the end, wasn't Nico the more nervous of the two? He who had always been confident, flirting with him openly, seemed to tremble when he finally turned around to look Levi in the eye and say _''I love you Levi"_. His shoulders had slumped, as if a weight had been lifted from his chest. 

Levi felt his eyelids getting heavy. A smile drags across his face as he thinks back on every time Nico was there for him. In fact, he's always there for him. Sometimes it was a discreet little touch, like when he put his hand on Levi's shoulder, when Natasha died, or while the couple was waltzing in the cafeteria. Sometimes he was just there, like when Saul died, or when he spent the night with Levi in the lab practicing central lines without letting go of the guide. Like when he supported Levi when everyone turned their backs on him after Meredith's trial, telling him that he had done what he had to do. 

And sometimes he'd declare his love, and Levi wouldn't even know it. But now that he looks back on everything they've been through together, Levi realizes that. All the little things Nico did, like declarations of love.

It's the worried scream he uttered when Levi collapsed in the O.R. Levi feels like he can still hear the "Oh my god Levi" right now like in the moment, before falling into the black hole...; it's the days off set aside to be with Levi as he recovers from Joe's accident, even if it meant staying in the basement to play chess; it's the surprise of seeing him on Halloween, saying _"I couldn't wait to see you";_ is the refusal to praise him when Levi said he's the reason he changed and saved Hunt; it's the honesty in his voice when he said ''I think it was still in you, but you didn't know it.''

A big smile forms on Levi's face when he thinks back on that moment. It's probably one of the nicest things Nico could say to him. Especially since it would have been easy for him to agree with Levi and confirm that all the change around Levi was due to Nico. Nico didn't even seem to think twice about telling Levi it was just him.

So, yeah, maybe Nico doesn't want to talk about his feelings. Maybe Levi's feeling a little frustrated. But how can he doubt Nico's love when he looks back on all they've been through? How much Nico's always been there for him. He falls asleep, almost hearing Nico's voice say _"my heart was broken, too."_

That is definitely the most beautiful thing he's ever said to him. 

When he wakes up, Nico is asleep against him. Nico's head rests on Levi's shoulder with his arm around his shoulders. Nico's right hand is clutching Levi's sweater. It's as if it's clinging to him. Like he wants to hold him. Levi gently squeezes his grip on Nico and kisses him on the forehead. 

"Hello, you." Nico whispers as he gently stretches.

Levi looks out the window. It's dark now. He must have been asleep for hours. 

"You were asleep when I came back" Nico says softly "I didn't want to wake you. You looked so peaceful."

"I was thinking about you" Levi admits with a smile.

Nico steps aside for a moment and sits on the bed. 

"Are you sorry you retained me?"

And Levi sits down and takes a turn and hugs Nico.

"Never." He kisses him. "I was thinking about us. How much I love you. How much you love me. How actions speak louder than words."

Nico seems to be getting nervous. 

"I know that lately"

''I love you'' Levi"s cup ''I love you and I know you love me. That's good enough for me. You're enough for me. I love you just the way you are, Nico. I really like you just the way you are. And I probably wouldn't love you as much if you looked like me. I like that we're different. I love everything about you, Nico. I'm sorryif I made you feel like I didn't."

Levi's lips rest gently on Nico's, and Nico responds immediately to her kiss. They kiss for a few minutes before Nico stops them.

''I'm sorry. I was so... so cranky before."

Levi chuckles and smiles and nods.

''I thought about it a lot while I was plastering my patient's wrist. So if you want, you can ask me a question. I'll answer it straight up."

Levi looks at him in amazement. Nico seems so sincere. 

"One question?"

"One, today," confirms Nico, "we'll have plenty of time for other, right? One question at a time, I can do this. For you."

Levi confirms with a kiss. He's thinking fast. This morning he's reportedly found 10,000 questions to ask Nico: why didn't he tell his parents; why didn't he tell him that his parents didn't know; why was he so angry when he found out that Levi's mom didn't know about them; why doesn't he want them to live together... but now that he's rethinking their story, there's only one question that comes to his mind.

"Have you ever said _'I love you'_ to anyone before me?"

Nico's eyes widen and he seems really surprised.

''Wait. Is that your question?"

Levi nods his head and then puts his hand on Nico's hand to confirm.

"If you don't want to"

"No'' Nico's cup "you're the only one. Really the only one. The first.''

A little tear comes out of the corner of Levi's eye, in spite of himself. 

"I love you, Levi." Nico whispers as he wipes the tear away with his thumb "I love you so much.''

And this time it's Levi kissing Nico feverishly. Not to shut him up, but because he needs his body to speak for him, otherwise he'll end up in tears because he feels like his heart is about to explode. 


End file.
